Love + relationship = struggle
Love and relationship = pain… dysfunction & STRUGGLE.
This has been my felt experience of love and intimate relating my entire life.
From as early as I have memory (not really memory, more like vibrational imprints) of being inside my mother’s womb... I could feel the tension between her and my father.
Once I was a baby out in the world, the tension was thicker.
By the time I was three years old, my younger sister was born… as a kind of coping mechanism in an attempt to save their marriage.
But shortly after she was born, the struggle my parents felt and the deep disharmony and dis-resonance between them was too strong, and after a devastating betrayal, my dad decided to leave and begin his life again, without my mother.
I was raised from five years onwards in the unconscious mist of my mother’s pain, heartbreak and deep abandonment wound flaring up in a cyclical fashion. This pain was not sat with an alchemised inside of her body, and was therefore projected onto myself and my sisters almost every day of our childhood.
I share a little about my OWN journey to preface this...
Everything I ever absorbed about what a relationship with someone we “love” is supposed to mean… was deeply dysfunctional.
This has made the multiple long-term committed partnerships I’ve been in since my younger years, incredibly painful once the honeymoon period wore off.
The first four years with my beloved Ryan, who is the first man I’ve known deep in my heart I could and will spend the rest of my life with... were the deepest years of shadow work ...
When we receive a blueprint of relationship through our parents, later in life we can feel like we were set up to fail.
All the little triggers and contractions that prevent us from being soft and open, like warm caramel that he gets to taste and enjoy because we are wearing our heart on our sleeve.
Our eros, our sensual pleasure for being in this beautiful body as well as our internal sense of self-love… is dripping off us like a honey nectar he just can’t get enough of.
Most women do not show up in their partnership in the way I’ve just described… as they feel deeply unsafe, internally armored… and like perhaps if their love is offered in it’s complete fullness (without any armor) she might be…
Taken for granted… abandoned and left to rot and die alone… give everything she had and it still wasn’t enough.
There is a myriad of reasons why women don’t offer the fullness of what they are in their intimate relationships.
Men have their own subconscious hidden reasons why they check out, over-work, disconnect from their bodies and their emotions… each reason being an intelligent way he can remain safe.
The Sacred Mirror Retreat will be a somatic experience where anything that’s being held in your body preventing you from being available for the deepest form of intimacy… can be unwound in a safe container through connection, transmissions, dance, play, breathwork, exercises, Temple nights and private experiences for you and your partner in the bedroom.
Beginners tantra to widen and expand the scope of your intimate relating in your partnership will be offered, but not before we do the deeper work to ensure both beings are feeling safe and ready to go deeper intimately than you ever have before.
The foundation of any solid relationship we are building externally… is the relationship we are having with ourselves.
Society has programmed us to believe that if we have what we desire in our external world (a good-looking partner, a sports car, a nice house, an adorable family, a beautiful garden etc) then we will be happy and feel alive from within.
In actual fact, it’s the complete opposite.
Until we are feeling a deeper connection with ourself from within, even if those manifestations externally actualise, you won’t be able to fully enjoy them.
This journey is going to be looking at whatever is living inside that is out of alignment with love, and how that’s impacting your partnership and the way you are interacting with your reality that has left an unfulfilling taste in your mouth over the past years.
Applications are now open to join us in Mexico in January 2023.
Email livingsacredunion.com for more details to join us.
With love,
Sarah
